hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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