Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
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