Kiss
Puke
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
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