Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Randomize
