She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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