Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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