Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
