Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
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WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
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I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos