I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15