hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
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