yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
he was CRYING into my vagina
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Dignity is for republicans.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot