And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night