Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.