Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
only if we run a train.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...