Texts From Last Night

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  (650): View more from California

  Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.

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  (650): Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points. http://tfl.nu/731b
  Replies (5) Good night (1612) Bad night (452)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.

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  (503): It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn. http://tfl.nu/grez
  Replies (32) Good night (590) Bad night (3332)
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  (518): View more from New York

  Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant

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  (518): Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant http://tfl.nu/517l
  Replies (17) Good night (5302) Bad night (1075)
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  (+44): View more from England

  So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?

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  (+44): So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'? http://tfl.nu/cyi6
  Replies (28) Good night (873) Bad night (3151)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?

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  (253): is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing? http://tfl.nu/rrvx
  Replies (5) Good night (574) Bad night (2638)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Am i fat?

  (1-248): View more from Michigan

  Well i wouldnt let you on top

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  (248): Am i fat? (1-248): Well i wouldnt let you on top http://tfl.nu/1yk2
  Replies (36) Good night (1765) Bad night (9411)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.

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  (815): Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous. http://tfl.nu/vjxc
  Replies (14) Good night (2992) Bad night (1403)
• Favorite

  (641): View more from Iowa

  My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.

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  (641): My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning. http://tfl.nu/bmvl
  Replies (8) Good night (2243) Bad night (924)
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  (915): View more from Texas

  at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?

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  (915): at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes? http://tfl.nu/vnu1
  Replies (3) Good night (2539) Bad night (1414)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.

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  (619): Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit. http://tfl.nu/5rch
  Replies (17) Good night (984) Bad night (3227)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.

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  (+44): It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over. http://tfl.nu/6ffz
  Replies (7) Good night (637) Bad night (958)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN

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  (845): I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN http://tfl.nu/jodt
  Replies (8) Good night (756) Bad night (414)
• Favorite

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.

  (320): View more from Minnesota

  No shame in my game.

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  (701): You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills. (320): No shame in my game. http://tfl.nu/4hn7
  Replies (4) Good night (1189) Bad night (455)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.

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  (609): I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains. http://tfl.nu/mhck
  Replies (2) Good night (320) Bad night (749)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live

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  (402): You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live http://tfl.nu/nu1y
  Replies (0) Good night (295) Bad night (467)

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