i need an iv and a liver transplant
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
