me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Randomize
