the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
