That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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