Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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