spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
