porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
