We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I am naked and annoyed.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Randomize
