Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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