How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
True college students do jello shots in the library
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize