didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
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