you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house