I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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