they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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