She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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