She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
