shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
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