I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
