At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
