I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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