Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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