so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
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