I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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