Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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