Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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