but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
