yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Come share oat with me in your robe
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
