Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
