the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
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when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
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My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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