I smell stomach acid.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Damn victory sex feels great
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
