If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
i just google imaged poop.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
So here I am, sexting at work.
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