I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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