You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
