Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize