:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
