Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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