Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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