I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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