I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Randomize
