Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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