You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize