What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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