my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
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I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
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Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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