the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Who did Billy Mays play for?
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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