Can Purell be used as lube?
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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