i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
