i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
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