Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
i think my cat just said my name.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
