i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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