Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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