we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
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you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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