I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
